Common Experiences


Autistic Traits in Women 

Every woman on the spectrum I know is completely different. 

However, the following is a list of common traits or patterns that you may or may not identify with.


Autistic women are often not spotted sooner as our autism is simply not obvious; a warning that some may find this list triggering.  

You may be commonly described honest, sincere and genuine.​


You may feel you don't know if you are oversharing or saying "too much" in conversation.

You may be highly empathetic or particularly sensitive to others' feelings.

You may feel as though you are the black sheep of your family.

You may feel that despite being highly intelligent you have struggled to keep up

at school or university.

You may struggle with maths, directions, or written instructions.

You may love to be in nature as you feel it grounds you. 

You may have a particular love of water such as bathing, the ocean, sounds of water, etc.

You may have a particular affinity towards children, animals, the elderly, or vulnerable people.

You may have a history of self-harm, an eating disorder, obsessive compulsive disorder, body dysmorphiaskin picking, or pulling your hair or lashes.

You may feel particularly protective or passionate about a minority group that you care about. 

You may feel you struggle with your personal, sexual or gender identity

You may feel very frustrated if you are interrupted when you are focused

You may have exceptionally strong values and an inherent sense of "right vs wrong".

You may have deep passions, commonly called "special interests" which can feel all-consuming.

You may suspect you are autistic after your children have been diagnosed as autistic or ADHD.


You may feel awkward when people compliment you and describe yourself as quite humble.  

You may feel frustrated when people don't get straight to the point. 

You may have a beloved pet who you are particularly close to or reliant upon. 

You may struggle with driving, particularly in busy areas.

You may describe yourself as exceptionally hard-working and loyal.

You may feel you are somewhat of a "chameleon" which has compromised your sense of identity.

You may feel you are very introspective or a very deep thinker.

You may find that it's easy for you to advocate for others but more difficult to advocate for yourself

You will have likely experienced bullying at some stage in your life.

You may have experienced an abusive relationship but found you empathised with your abuser or worried for their welfare

You may have a habit of relating conversation back to yourself without meaning to. 

You may be highly creative and express feelings via the written word, dance or art.

You will likely have a high attention to detail and be hugely observant.

You may feel you have strong gut feelings about things and a sixth sense for things about to happen.

You may be able to walk into a room and know what others are feeling or

if there has been an argument

You may feel you are very kind but that people take advantage of your kindness. 

You may find your emotions hit you after the fact. 

You may have quite a blank expression at times. 

You may blow up easily or be quick to temper, particularly when under pressure. 

You may be described as quite blunt and worry about unintentionally hurting others

You may not feel a physical attraction towards someone until you have established

an emotional connection

You will likely have issues with your hormones, cycles, or fertility.

You will likely have long-standing sleep issues.

You will likely have gut or digestive issues.

You may feel very faint when standing up or be double jointed.

You may get extremely tired in hot weather. 

You may get extremely cold hands or feet. 


You may have very sensitive, 

reactive skin or be prone to allergies

You will likely look much younger than you are. 

You will likely struggle with the concept of "growing up" and feel younger on the inside than you are.

You may be very good at taking care of something or someone.

You may prefer working for yourself as you struggle with work politics.

You may have been bad at sports as a child or described as uncoordinated

After social events, you may need a lot of down time

You may feel very passionate about a social cause or social movement.

You may get very irritated when people or information are/is inaccurate.​

You may feel you are very focused in some ways, but very scattered in others.

You may not like visitors popping in unannounced.

You may not like speaking on the phone, receiving unexpected phone calls and much prefer texting

You may feel very safe at home and be cautious about who you invite into your space. 

You may retreat at parties and spend time with the children or helping the host

You may feel that you have been an "alien", "on the outer" or inferior in social situations.

You may be a highly skilled researcher. 

You may find that you dive down "rabbit holes" of information if you are interested in something.

You may not like sudden noises, bright lights, strong smells, or high-pitched sounds.

You may twirl your hair a lot, suck your cheeks or bite your lips

You may feel eye contact feels uncomfortable or too intimate

You may feel very drawn to autistic people.​

You may be highly introverted, but also highly social in familiar situations or with familiar people.

You may dislike small talk and like to get "straight to the deep stuff" with someone. 

You may find that you like certain textures, certain smells, or running your hands over something. 

You may get very upset if people are careless with your things. 

You may be quite clumsy at times. 

You may dislike brushing out your hair.

You may have already been diagnosed with ADHD. 

You may prefer to work from home, alone, in quieter rooms, or at times when there are less people in the office such as nights or on weekends. 

You may find that you leave things until the last minute a lot, or find it hard to start a task (particularly if there is a lot riding on it). 

You are likely an absolute perfectionist


Despite trying to be organised, you may be late a lot. 

You may feel dissatisfied or like a failure in your life, however you can't put your finger on any particular trauma or traumatic event.

You may not like crowds, shopping centres or busy places.  

You may dislike hugs or people in your personal space. 

You may find you often are unaware of how you are feeling

You may feel that you are desperate to connect with people.

You may be very generous with your time or undercharge for your time

You may have a particular way of doing things. 

You may not like things like tags on clothing, underwire bras, scratchy material or tight jeans.

You may have been told you are quite literal at times.

You may have had a particular soft toy or object that you were attached to in childhood.

You may struggle with technology, mechanical things, computers, electronics, etc and get extremely frustrated when things don't work.

You may experience a high level of anxiety and depression but be unsure why

You may find the traditional "five day working week" exhausting.

You may dislike hierarchies or cliques at work.

You may speak to the CEO with the same familiarity as how you speak to a colleague

who is "lower" down the rank. 

You may find it very relaxing when you are focused or immersed in a task. 

You may feel like you're a people pleaser, afraid of offending someone, or often assume that

people do not like you. 

You may feel highly sensitive to criticism or perceived criticism. 

You may find you need to take the same route to familiar places so you do not get lost. 

You may have difficulty lying or telling white lies.

You may tend to ruminate over things.

You may have received lots of different diagnoses in the past.

You may find that you prefer male friendships as they are easier to decipher.

You may have moved from group to group at school, or had intense one-on-one friendships.

You may strongly resonate with the idea of a "Lost Girl" or "lost identity" but not know why.



This list is a guide only; it is based on my own observations

and conversations with autistic women. 

Lifeline: 13 11 14.